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on writing through the block…

June 1, 2012

every week after i post my blog entry here, i begin thinking about what i would like to write about the next friday.  sometimes i have ideas right away.  sometimes i see something or read something that inspires me to write about a certain topic.  sometimes i feel like i am overflowing with words and i write a poem.  sometimes i simply share the images and words that have moved me during the six days that i have in-between posts.  and then sometimes, like today, like this week, i have brainstormed until i am blue in the face, i have read articles and seen beautiful photos and beautiful art, but i have nothing.  i feel empty.  i am blocked.  and i have learned in the years and years that i have been writing that i have to write myself through the block, or i just won’t write at all.  that i just have to put down in words whatever it is that comes out.  and not worry about if it is “good enough” for me, or well edited, or any of that.  just write.  so i will…

i haven’t set foot on the oregon coast in nearly three years.  the last time i was there, the sun shone on all of our shoulders.  the weather was unseasonably warm and we were blessed with highs in the 70s.  the last time i was there i was moved to tears by the landscape; by the rugged coastline.  the last time i was there i hadn’t met my husband yet (and i had never even dreamed i would have a baby girl).  the last time i was there i was with all my girlfriends and we barely caught any crabs that day on the dock.  that night we soaked our feet in the hot tub (as a group, of course) and we all had too much to drink.  the last time i was there i sat on the balcony of the house we had rented, after midnight, in the rain that felt like a misty kind of fog (the kind that never really gets you wet, but leaves you feeling somehow damp), and had a really amazing conversation.  the last time i was there it was incredible.  the last time i was there i was reminded of everything oregon is and how much that place truly means to me.  i miss it there (and i think about it every single day).  and i miss the women i spent my time with there (and i think of them every single day).  oregon just never fades away from me.  oregon just never seems to flush itself out of my soul.


this week, (in indiana) the weather has cooled down and is (what i assume to be) the last of the cool weather i will be able to enjoy until autumn creeps up on us.  my windows are open and the fresh air and the grey sky inspire me to curl up into my cozy long-sleeved t-shirt, make delicious snacks, play with my baby, and socialize with my husband and some friends.  i remarked to jason this morning, over our first cups of coffee, that the weather like this makes me feel like i am sitting at the oregon coast– the moisture in the air, the cool breeze, the overcast skies, the chill on your toes (but the feeling of “i want to really feel this cold,” so you don’t put your socks on, you just walk out onto the beach, into the cold, wet sand, and walk until your can’t feel your feet anymore).  even a few thousand some odd miles away i feel like i am sitting near a window, staring at the twin rocks instead of the drab parking lot outside my home.  these days transport me.  these days renew me.  these days are my perfect days.  these days look like this:

relaxing and lounging

playing and laughing

eating and smiling

snuggling and cuddling

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 1, 2012 4:52 pm

    Very sweet, Lydia! I remember days like that in California too- walking in the cold wet sand until you can’t feel your toes anymore…Yes, I remember that well! I’d love to be back on a beach wrapped in a blanket staring out into the endless ocean on a day like today. Thanks for giving me a fond memory to “escape” to!

  2. evie permalink
    June 1, 2012 5:16 pm

    Love Love Love it Lydia….brought me right back to that crabbing trip. I am so glad you write these. I so enjoy them.
    Oregon misses you too Lydia and so do all the crabbing girls! XOXO

  3. June 14, 2012 2:01 am

    A very nice way of getting through the block. I think everyone who writes in any capacity has had those days (weeks, months) where it just seems there’s nothing left to say. Good for you for finding a way through it.

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