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on my sister…

November 11, 2011

a few days from now, my sister will be packing her things into a u-haul and moving away from her home in north carolina.  a few days from now, my sister will be hanging out with and saying good-bye to people she has cared about and has grown to care about in the town she has called home for the past year.  a few days from now, my sister will be light-hearted as she sees the country while she travels westward and a week from now, she will be unpacking her u-haul and moving her things into a beautiful home with her dear friends and her partner.  a week from now her life will be unfolding.  a week from now, she will be thousands of miles away from me.  a week from now, i will miss her.

i have always found it fascinating to sit with my sister and reminisce about childhood.  whether it were family vacations or stories from school, we remember many of the same events, but often have a different take on the situations.  she will remember details from mutual scenes that i didn’t realize had happened.  i will see a joke, where she saw something sad.  our own perceptions of those moments shape our personal realities.  this is what makes us separate.  this is what makes us unique and individual humans.  and, the fact is that we may not always like it, but this is also what makes us family.

i don’t really recall the day alicia was born from personal memory, but i can tell you about how she came to visit me multiple times when i lived in oregon and i can tell you how hard we laughed some of those nights during her stays.  i don’t remember what grade she was in when she had her first boyfriend, but i still remember the name of phillip herman, because in elementary school he had, “an oval head and colors good.”  i couldn’t tell you what her favorite food is today, but i am able to relay that when lish was much younger, she would drive me crazy by leaving a semi-circle of “crust” behind from her hamburger.  only she and i were really there for our own little jokes and only she and i can hear certain phrases and laugh aloud at the memories.  she would know in a pinch that 8:00 p.m. is the best time for a pillow fight.  and she would understand, if you asked her, about the glitter berries.  because we went though so much of life together, we understand one another.

i guess that’s why sometimes i still treat her like a 15-year old.  in my mind, we are still kids.  we are still little girls that just want to play together and laugh and have fun.  we don’t have different lives or boyfriends or kids.  we don’t live thousands of miles away from one another.  we don’t go a day without talking to one another.  we don’t ever stop plotting against our parents.  we are just here.  together.  we are in the same house, with our lives out in front of us, getting to hang out with one another in the meantime.

reality shows that isn’t the case, however.  she is 28 years old.  she is intelligent and artistic and beautiful and kind.  she takes really amazing photographs.  she has something about her that makes me still so glad to even be in the same room with her… like you can sense her spirit– so filled with light and joy.  she is perfectly sarcastic.  she wears excellent glasses.  she is funny and bright and creative and fun.  she makes me laugh.  she inspires me.  she is clever and witty and opinionated and strong.  she is about to embark on an amazing journey and a new chapter in her life.  she makes me proud.  she is my sister and i am blessed to know her.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kara Pettey permalink
    November 13, 2011 2:52 pm

    This is beautiful. I feel very much the same way about my sister. I understand how you feel and I’m sad and happy for you both!

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