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on taking it day by day…

October 28, 2011

i begin each day somewhere between 6 and 7 a.m.  i make a pot of coffee and prepare harper’s breakfast.  when she wakes i hear her sweet song of “mama mama mama’s” and i greet her with “good morning” and smile and stroke her soft hair.  her genuine happiness warms my heart.  her elation at the beginning of a new day is fascinating.  she is so wide-eyed.  she is so filled with life and positivity.  she is unblemished by sadness and the evils of the world.  she is in awe of what every second might have in store for her.  she is anxious and ready to learn and play and smile.  she takes away my breath.

i feel like somewhere between birth and my 31st birthday, my memories have gotten muddled.  if someone asked for me to recall the costume i wore for halloween in 1985 or the way i felt when i saw the ocean for the very first time, i would come up without response.  now that i have a daughter, however, i feel like i am becoming reacquainted with the pieces of my childhood that have since become unrecognizable to me.  i am able to see the world through the eyes of my child.  with harper, i am able to see her reactions to the new-ness of life.  everything she seems to experience is reason for celebration.  the joy that she conjures during a game of peek-a-boo is apparent in her writhing body and incessant giggling.   when she sits by herself on the floor examining toys or her hand or the sky and practices her different laughs (from squeals to chuckles), i cannot help but laugh with her.  her world is aglow.  she sees magic everywhere.  her thrill with simply being alive is honest and beautiful.

children, i am learning, are this special gift given to make you feel smaller; more humble.  a child has the ability to make you remember what it is to relish wholeheartedly in a single moment of time.  i feel so blessed when i think about harper.  i think about how lucky i am that i get to spend my days with her.  i think about how one day she might have children of her own, and while she will not remember these specific moments of her life, she will be able to relive them with her child.  and though i am unable to recall the first time i tasted ice cream, i get excited about the day when i will see harper’s reaction to that sweet treat.  though i may not remember the specific instance i felt my toes in the sand, i am fascinated to see how she will feel when that moment comes to her.  i feel so lucky to be able to witness this world from my daughter’s perspective.  i feel honored that she is sharing all her moments with me.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 28, 2011 4:21 pm

    What a beautiful post! I can only imagine having a child does give you a whole new perspective. One of these days 😉

  2. James GIllie permalink
    October 29, 2011 7:43 pm

    Wonderful bit of pondering, Lydia. Thanks for sharing!

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