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on the Love of a father…

October 7, 2011

when i met jason for the very first time, i noticed in his eyes the amount of warmth and compassion that spilled over the edges.  in the days and months following that first meeting, i learned about our common Love for literature, nature, and writing.  i learned that, even though i won most of the scrabble matches we played, at least he wanted to join in the game.  i learned that, even though he failed at getting me out of the house most the time, he still wanted to take me out to dinner.  i learned that, even though i would sleep the days away, he would still be the first person to call me when he knew i would be out of bed.  it didn’t take much time for me to Love him, and when i learned i was pregnant with his child, i knew there was no man in the world more fit for the role of a father.  i knew that our child would Love him, as well.

jason had always intended to one day have a child of his own, and we spent so much time while i was pregnant discussing what our world would be like once there was a baby.  then, once we learned we were having a girl, we wondered what our world would mean for a little lady with whom to show the world.  and all those late-night discussions continued to evolve from “what will she look like?” and “what will her laugh sound like?” into the things we discuss in our todays (“what do you think her next word will be?” and “when will she get that next tooth?”).  there is something so stationary, yet so transitory about having a child and watching them grow… it all happens in a moment and you are forever trying to understand exactly what is going on, by which time, that moment has already passed.  jason and i talk about our concerns that we are doing the right things for our daughter– from putting her to sleep at the right time, to what types of food we let her eat, to laughing with her when we can and finding time to comfort and hold her when she is sad.  he longs for his daughter to be happy and well-rounded and kind.  i think that must be what most parents want for their children; what most fathers want for their daughters.

watching harper interact with jason is by far one of the most special parts of my day.  the Love in their eyes when they look at one another is overwhelming.  their connection is so important and so beautiful and i am so thankful i get to observe it.  harper beams when she sees her father– when he wakes up in the morning and shows his face to us, there is no smile bigger in the whole world of smiles than her smile.  when her papa throws her gently onto our big bed with lots of comfy blankets and sheets and fluffy pillows, she laughs and rolls around in joy.  when her daddy hugs her close and kisses her face with all the kisses he has inside of him, she nuzzles in and then pushes away and laughs at how much her father adores her.  and what i get to witness is how much she will change in the wake of this Love…

–lydia stewart

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