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i was always really bad at titles…

September 9, 2011

for as long as i can remember i have been writing.  as a child, my grandmother would give me a diary each year as a christmas gift.  i felt so excited each year to be able to fill up each of those lined surfaces with my personal thoughts, ideas, poems– words.  it felt like, to me, it was my own space, with which i could do whatever i wanted.  as a 31 year old woman, i still feel the same sense of wonder at a new journal or empty notebook.  they call to me to fill up their lonely spaces with my prose; they long for me to leave my handwriting all over their pages.  when i found out i was pregnant last year, the first thing i did was go out and buy a journal.

i wanted to keep recordings of daily life for my baby to be.  i continue to write in that journal for my baby, and one day i will give it to her, so she can see the relationship we have had with one another from my eyes.  i feel like so many days my life goes by too quickly.  i feel like one morning i will blink and my baby will be thirty years old and having a baby of her own.  i feel like, even when i am living in the moment, that i want to preserve this– that i want to be able to tell it all over again someday and the best way to do that is with a journal.  i am able to write down exactly how i am feeling and then i will never be there again, but i will be able to go back and remember it for years and years to come.

thank you so much to talia of conduit press, for making beautiful journals that we can all buy to fill up with our own precious, personal stories.  and also for her allowing me to write here and share some of my life stories with all of you.

–lydia stewart

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