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The Risk of Too Much Information

May 18, 2011

Things have been rough around here lately and thus, I’ve been a bit a AWOL. It’s all personal and it’s all familial, but when you run your own business and your business is out of your home and you’re a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom, well, those lines tend to blur. Generally speaking I like to keep my personal ‘business’ off of this page, and that’s likely for the best, but, let’s face it, when the proverbial shit hits the fan you want to get it out there (or at least I do) and so I’m here.

Perhaps with some history: I’m a mother of one (21 month old Griffin) and step-mother of two (15 y/o girl, 9 y/o boy) who up until the past year we’ve had major custody of and since Griffin has been around and the bio-mom got her shite together, true joint custody of. That’s just the awful truth. Take it or leave it. My husband works full time as a computer programmer for the college and I, of course, run this here business. I also am a member of a local Mom’s Group and started a Creative Collective locally as well. I’m stretched all ways . . . I suppose by choice.

For the past 8 months or so we’ve been dealing with mostly random outbursts of extreme rage from our 9 year old boy. Seemingly they come from nowhere and disappear sometimes 30 minutes, sometimes 3 hours later. We’re all stuck in the cross-fire. The 15 year old escapes to her bedroom. I take the baby far away and my husband has been left to deal. On some occasions I’m able to help with the rage while the 15 y/0 takes the baby with her, but for the most part I’m asked to keep at a distance. Recently these bursts of rage have become more and more pronounced and closer together. We’ve seen psychiatrists, therapists, doctors, psychologists and more and terms like ADHD, Respiridol, bipolar, ODD, anxiety, OCD, gluten-free diets, allergies, and the like have been thrown around. But we still have no answers.

A few weeks ago the teen hit rock-bottom between dealing with her younger brother, her bio-mother, and her g/f running away from home and took a knife to the top of her arm. Perhaps I’m sharing too much here- if you think so, perhaps you should stop reading now. But, for now, this is coming out here.  She took a knife to the top of her arm in front of her 9 y/o brother while my husband was putting the baby to bed and I was away at a craft show, on business. The next day she was admitted into the Behavioral Health Hospital in town. I would no longer leave my husband with the baby and the other children while away on business so my new task at hand was to find someone to watch him while I did the three remaining shows I’ve had scheduled (and paid for) for this spring.

Since then I’ve ushered the babe around to numerous baby sitters and family members trying to figure out how best to deal with this situation. Do I just stop doing shows? Do I take the baby with me? Do I give up? What about the Collective? Let it fall by the way-side and pick it back up when I can handle it? When I can get more help? I don’t have any answers- I still don’t.

This past weekend I had my last scheduled show until the INDIEana Handicraft Exchange in June – which will be my last big show until the holiday season, so at least I have some time to think about how I’m going to handle this situation. While I was away we recruited the in-laws to come help my husband with all three kids. The 9 y/o ended up in the ‘mental health’ Hospital by Saturday evening.

He’s been released today, but my guess (I’m not being negative here, just realistic) is that nothing has changed. I have three weekends at home and four weeks to try and figure this all out. And in the meantime . . . I’m fighting for air.

So, if you don’t see/hear me around, that’s why. And if I have to take a holiday season off when it comes to shows, well, then so be it. I don’t ask for prayers, but I’ll ask for your thoughts to help get our family through this tough time.

Thank you…

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 18, 2011 8:12 pm

    You certainly are in my thoughts. Let me know how i can help. I have Indy friends who can help baby sit during shows if neededa

  2. May 19, 2011 12:34 am

    Whoa- that is a full plate. I’ll be sending good thoughts your way.

    My nine year old has some anger management stuff going on too. I think it has to do with the trauma of being a 9-11 baby. There was sure a lot going on when these kids came into this world. My son was born on Oct. 4.

    Good Luck! Maybe you could have someone man your booth for you at the next few shows. And there are a ton of online venues you could do instead. Shows will always be there- you can start them again when things settle down. Family is what is most important- that’s why we are working from home moms. 🙂

    Sending you love and light.

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