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oh Reflections (on a past)

April 19, 2011

Did you know that, in a past life I was an English major?  Well, to be fair, I was also a Psychology major and a Journalism major for all of about 40 seconds. But there was a time in my life (about 15 years ago now I guess) where I really thought I was going to be a writer. For a living.

If you know me, this next little story I’m about to tell is going to be quite repetitive, but if you don’t know me well, it might be a teensy bit illuminating. See, in high school I literally lived for our literary magazine. It was called “Reflections” and I lived and breathed this thing. It wasn’t until my sophomore year that I even found out of its existence – having previously been edited by and laid out by the primarily upper classmen elite of the AP world. When I discovered the zine it became my life’s work to be a part of it. I submitted poems, fiction, photography- you name it. None of it ever got in. Instead it was filled with page long stories from those who ran the magazine (nah, I’m not bitter). But, my junior year the little literary zine was taken over by a teacher whom I had had as a freshman – a teacher who LOVED me- and a teacher who then named ME editor-in-chief right then and there.

I was ecstatic. And my life changed.  No longer was I (just) the mousy quiet girl that sat in the back of Mr Munn’s AP US History classroom, or the girl who passed notes and giggled to a point of annoyance at the back of Ms Hunter’s Calculus class. I wasn’t (just) one of the Three Musketeers of our little girl group nor was I just that girl in Spell Bowl and the English Academic Team. I was Editor-In-Chief (of a literary magazine most of the school didn’t even know existed).

Reflections ruled my life for the next two years. It was all about making connections, figuring out the publication process, finding submissions, finding people’s voices, and laying out the magazine. I fought tooth and nail for that little zine and in the end broke my biggest connection- the one with my mentor teacher- fighting for the right for a friend’s voice to be heard. I didn’t win that battle, nor that war. But I learned a  lot.

I learned that standing up for your friends was a necessary part of the teenage battle. That as a teenager everything seems much more important than it really is. That friendships last a lifetime, and longer.

I also learned that teachers answer to a higher power than just the one’s in their hearts- which was the voice I was listening to. Teachers put a lot on the line for us students and we never realize it. And that saying about, ‘those who can do, and those who can’t, teach’ is more false than any other I’ve ever heard because those that choose to teach, that choose to make a difference, are anything but those that can’t, because they can and they do, every damned day. And I admire that now . . . if only I had then.

—- to be continued—-

5 Comments leave one →
  1. April 19, 2011 2:27 pm

    Can’t wait to read the rest of your story! Our little literary mag was called Wit & Whims. I loved it. You just made me think of it 🙂

    • admin permalink*
      April 19, 2011 11:57 pm

      wit and whims- what a great title. there’s definitely more to the silly story, most of which I’m not proud of, but I will share in time;)

  2. Leigh Raper permalink
    April 19, 2011 6:09 pm

    Loved this post. We all have our “things” from High School and unfortunately too many things in our adult life are still like High School. But the power of friendship and being passionately committed to something is so important.

    • admin permalink*
      April 19, 2011 11:56 pm

      so so true;) thank you for reading;)


  1. Reflect(ing) | conduit press

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